Dare to NOT Compare!

Consider how many times you make comparisons in your average day.  You might compare the cost of gas at one station as opposed to the cost to fill up at another.  You might compare different colors of the same sweater to determine which one looks best with your skin shade.  Sometimes comparing products can get you a better deal for a superior item.  Comparing restaurants may help you find the best quality food for your budget.  However, when one begins comparing body weights and shapes, eating behaviors, exercise levels and the like, comparisons cease to be helpful.  In fact, such comparisons can lead to extreme dieting, excessive exercise and even full blown eating disorders.
Why do we engage in such ridiculous and frivolous actions?  When we get involved in these mental gymnastics we are admitting that we no longer trust ourselves.  We do not trust our hunger, our appetites and food preferences and most imposrtantly ... we do not trust our own minds and bodies!  Dieting takes away our ability to honor our own hunger and is driven by assuming there is something terribly wrong with our bodies that can be corrected by chasing a number on the scale.
I recently had a client reveal that her most recent binge was triggered by not allowing herself to eat the dessert that was offered at a business luncheon.  She was still a bit hungry, the dessert appealed to her, but the woman sitting next to her did not eat her dessert.  She compared herself to the woman and noted that the woman was "thinner" than she was.  In a brief moment she made several comparisons that led her to deprive herself.  By the end of the day obsessing over the dessert she really wanted set her up to binge on stale cookies that she didn't even enjoy in front of her T.V. 
As we continue to challenge ourselves and each other to change the conversations we have about dieting, body image, and self-esteem issues, let's dare each other not to compare!
Try some of these suggestions:

• Love and respect that body you have, not the body of some airbrushed model in a magazine.
• When you catch yourself making comparisons to what a friend is eating or not eating, remind yourself that each individual body has differing needs for calories, vitamins and macronutrients.  There is no effective way to compare, so why bother?
• Discover your own food preferences, hunger-satisfied signals, and cravings by giving up dieting and learning to trust yourself with food.
• Find physical activites to participate in that make your mind and body feel invigorated and alive.
• Compare yourself only to yourself and only to yourself at this time in your life.  Optimize the body you have by feeding it food that is tasty and healthful ... but not micromanaged. Compliment that with some moderate activity and you will be the best you can be!

Please share with those who follow this blog suggestions as to how you have overcome destructive comparison tendencies.

America the Beautiful

A fourteen-year-old model, size four, is told by agencies that she is obese. Another teenager refers to plastic surgery as “a girl’s best friend.” Magazine editors and advertising executives deny responsibility when it comes to promoting an unhealthy beauty standard, while elementary school girls compare themselves to images they’ve seen in the media and declare with complete conviction that they are fat and ugly.
These are some of the stories found in Darryl Roberts’ documentary America the Beautiful, an insightful look into the beauty industry and how it can affect consumers. Roberts investigates this cultural preoccupation by interviewing those who perpetuate the “beauty standard” and those who are deeply influenced by it. He attends runway shows and plastic surgery consultations. An online “beautiful people” dating service rejects him after members vote against his submitted profile and photo. He takes a random sample of cosmetic products to a lab, where unlisted toxic ingredients are identified in each of them.
Throughout the documentary is the story of Gerren Taylor, whose modeling career skyrockets at age twelve. Roberts contrasts footage of Taylor walking the runway in sultry designs with images of her playing with dolls. As the film unfolds, Taylor deals with criticism about her size and jobs begin disappearing. Eventually, in a conversation with Roberts, she says she is ugly and muses about dieting and the possibility of plastic surgery. The undeniable transformation of Taylor’s self-worth puts a face to the film's research and statistics.
Whether or not we are a part of the beauty industry, we can still be subjected to its images and messages promoting an expectation of physical perfection.  Does that affect the way you view and value yourself? Does America have an unhealthy obsession with beauty, and if so, is there anything we as consumers can do to change it?